The Goodwins

We were recently on vacation in Florida and my mom commented on how cute the girl in the pink hat was… that girl is our daughter Ella. And she is very cute, even without her pink hat.

Ella is in hats a lot to protect her many scars from the sun, and she shines underneath them all. She is a beautiful little girl and even in her “I’m almost 4 and I can do it myself attitude” we find so much to love. She is the light of our life (along with little brother Justice) and we have learned so much from her.  But it isn’t her Down syndrome that is teaching us, it is Ella herself and her personality. I don’t know if taking away her Down Syndrome would change who she is or not, but as her mom I would never be willing to find out even if I could. I love her everyday just as she is.

Before Ella I loved. I loved her dad, I loved my family, I loved living a life full of travel and adventure, I loved chocolate, I loved my life… but I didn’t know how deep the love of a child would be. And I never thought about if I could ever love someone with Down syndrome – it simply never crossed my mind.  And then Ella was born and my heart was hers in an instant. The first year was a struggle of emotions and grief over the loss of what we thought our plans for her future would be, but we prevailed in love. The next several years were filled with struggles from surgeries and medical procedures but we prevailed in love. And now as all our known struggles are behind us and we watch in awe as Ella discovers a whole new world in school, we continue to prevail in love. Our hearts are overflowing!

But what I know, and what I want everyone to learn is that Ella is Ella. She is not a girl with Down syndrome who happens to be our daughter, or a teacher’s student, or a child’s friend.  I pray that Ella will be accepted into our world for just the person God has made her to be; that she will find her place in life and be happy and fulfilled. It’s the same prayer I imagine all parents have for all children. When I look into her future I am afraid for all of the unknowns that lay ahead but in truth, most days I forget that she has Down syndrome as it is so easy just to enjoy who she is.  She laughs and giggles and cries. She dances and runs and walks. She smiles and pouts and cheers. She is simply Ella, our amazing little girl.

Ahead I know there are more struggles waiting to find us and her, but today everything is perfect and just as it should be.  God has given us the gift of love in both our children and that will always be more than enough for us.

As a mom these days my prayers are simple… let Ella loose the bubbles and let Justice keep his blue eyes!

Well, the bubble days in our house are on a final count down to removal on April 27th, and Justice is cute as a bug with his blue eyes… but I expect they may turn brown all too soon. Ella’s were the same deep steel blue for almost a year before she got her beautiful brown peepers!

So I accept the things I can’t control and I cheer for the things that I can. We’ve showered Ella with love and support over the last few months and while we are  all ready to be DONE with the bubbles she has been such a brave little trooper. She inspires us all with her bright eyes and loving smile! And through it all she has been an amazing big sister – she has so much joy over her little brother being in our family that it is truly a blessing!

We all need a fun stress free summer, and soon I hope that is all that will be on our horizon for a little while!