The Goodwins

We were recently on vacation in Florida and my mom commented on how cute the girl in the pink hat was… that girl is our daughter Ella. And she is very cute, even without her pink hat.

Ella is in hats a lot to protect her many scars from the sun, and she shines underneath them all. She is a beautiful little girl and even in her “I’m almost 4 and I can do it myself attitude” we find so much to love. She is the light of our life (along with little brother Justice) and we have learned so much from her.  But it isn’t her Down syndrome that is teaching us, it is Ella herself and her personality. I don’t know if taking away her Down Syndrome would change who she is or not, but as her mom I would never be willing to find out even if I could. I love her everyday just as she is.

Before Ella I loved. I loved her dad, I loved my family, I loved living a life full of travel and adventure, I loved chocolate, I loved my life… but I didn’t know how deep the love of a child would be. And I never thought about if I could ever love someone with Down syndrome – it simply never crossed my mind.  And then Ella was born and my heart was hers in an instant. The first year was a struggle of emotions and grief over the loss of what we thought our plans for her future would be, but we prevailed in love. The next several years were filled with struggles from surgeries and medical procedures but we prevailed in love. And now as all our known struggles are behind us and we watch in awe as Ella discovers a whole new world in school, we continue to prevail in love. Our hearts are overflowing!

But what I know, and what I want everyone to learn is that Ella is Ella. She is not a girl with Down syndrome who happens to be our daughter, or a teacher’s student, or a child’s friend.  I pray that Ella will be accepted into our world for just the person God has made her to be; that she will find her place in life and be happy and fulfilled. It’s the same prayer I imagine all parents have for all children. When I look into her future I am afraid for all of the unknowns that lay ahead but in truth, most days I forget that she has Down syndrome as it is so easy just to enjoy who she is.  She laughs and giggles and cries. She dances and runs and walks. She smiles and pouts and cheers. She is simply Ella, our amazing little girl.

Ahead I know there are more struggles waiting to find us and her, but today everything is perfect and just as it should be.  God has given us the gift of love in both our children and that will always be more than enough for us.

It’s hard to believe that Ella will be a big sister soon! She’ll be three in April (can you believe it?).

Kirk and I are amazed everyday at the extraordinary addition she has been to our family, and we can’t wait to see what joy her new little brother will bring to us all!

I doubt Ella truly knows how her life is about to change… right now she’s all about hugging, kissing and raspberrying the baby in Mama’s tummy. She loves to listen to the “thumpa thumpa” (she taps her chest) on the heart monitor we rented, and she laughs whenever we ask her about her little brother. I wonder how she’ll do with crying, sharing, and stinky diapers that aren’t her own…?

So for all of you who love our family and are watching us grow, here is an image of Ella’s little brother from our recent 3D ultrasound. If you click on the image of our newest Goodwin it will get you a little bigger picture of the cute face that is about to join the world!

Sending love, smiles and blessings to all of you!

P.S. for those who haven’t yet heard or seen it for themselves, Ella is officially a walker – she’s all about doing it herself (no more need for mom and dad’s fingers!), and she is picking up the pace every day! I’m hoping to get some movies of her soon!