The Goodwins

Every time I talk about exercise and getting “back in shape” my mom sighs and says “I wish you’d dance again.” And while that always sounded like fun, who really wants to pay for classes unless it’s leading somewhere. So Kirk and I finally caved in and joined the YMCA, and they actually have an adult jazz class that isn’t filled with college students and teenagers! So I signed up, and even got a new pair of dance sneakers as my jazz shoes were falling apart (and out of style after 17 years!) I’m really enjoying the movement of the class and my brain picks up on the steps as easily as I ever did, however, when I look in the mirror I have to wonder who that chunky, old(ish) woman is looking back at me. What happened to the girl who could eat anything and never gain a pound… darn my changing metabolism. I have to say my reflection yearns for the days when fitness came naturally and my diet consisted mainly of Mountain Dew (not diet) and a bag of barbeque chips as my roommate Lori and I road tripped to anywhere.

Ella is out of surgery, sleeping restlessly in her hospital bed. Kirk and I are sighing a bit of relief but still feeling very somber. Hopefully she will wake up and give us one of thos beautiful smiles soon. All three of us are drained and exhausted, but we’re all here together!

I can’t believe how many people love our little girl! Kirk and I have been receiving so much encouragement and so many prayers from everyone that it is almost overwhelming… in a good way that is! It’s as if our little family is living in a giant hug! I’ve always known how precious Ella is to Kirk and I, and our close family & friends, but it is heartwarming to see how far her laughter extends into the world. So with a much lighter heart I send you all one of Ella’s loving smiles and a handful of her kisses! B.

Today Kirk, Ella and I spent the afternoon in Chicago with the nurse and plastic surgeon who will perform Ella’s surgery on April 15th. For those of you who don’t know, Ella was born with a large nevus (hairy mole) on her scalp, which carries a pretty high risk of melanoma later in life. With that as well as Ella’s Down syndrome in mind we’ve decided to have it removed.

The appointment was good in that Kirk and I still feel that it is the right thing to do for Ella and her future, that this is the right time to do it, and that we are blessed to be so close to the right doctor. (Dr. Bruce Bauer at Children’s Memorial in Chicago)

On the other hand my heart does not agree with my head and I firmly believe this whole situation stinks! I can’t stand that we even have to make this decision. And it breaks my heart to put Ella through what is going to be a long process of skin expansion and plastic surgery. Kirk reminds me, however, that in the big picture 12 weeks is not very long. And if the smiles on the faces of the kids in the pictures we’ve seen is any indication, this process will be much harder on Kirk and I then on Ella… next year she will not even remember that it happened. But still, my heart is heavy and I can’t help shedding a couple of tears. B.

Kirk has been after me since he created this web site (well since high school really!) to do some blogging and keep the outside world informed about our life… and I always wondered why I would want to fill everyone (and anyone who did a simple Google search) in on my thoughts, let alone our day to day life! But I’ve been reading blogs from some of my friends, and remembering how much I used to love to write in journals when I was a teenager, so I thought I’d give this new blogging craze a try. Of course now I face the idea that everyone could read what I write rather than writing solely for myself so it’ll be interesting to me to see if I keep this up or if it’s a brief fancy.

So, since I’m not exactly sure how I want to proceed I think today I will simply say that life has been good to us so far in 2008 (aside from the winter cold which is still running through our house). We took a much needed and relaxing vacation to Hawaii to visit friends, and Ella proved herself to be an amazing traveler and happily went where ever mom and dad went.

We are approaching Ella’s 2nd birthday on April 9th and we are amazed at how fast she is growing up! Our lives have all changed so much in the last 2 years and I am eagerly waiting to see what comes next. April will also bring surgery for Miss Ella… Kirk and I have decide to remove the giant nevus (hairy mole) from her scalp. While we don’t like the idea of putting Ella (and ourselves) through this process, the thoughts of cancer / melanoma are too hard to ignore. So, our beautiful little girl will look a little funny for a few months, but I’m sure her amazing attitude and smiles will carry us all through!.

Well, that’s all for today… I wonder when I’ll write again.

B.